1990s_Journals_JMW.pdf

--- Page 1 --- day on Christmas - Matt, an Appalachian Cowboy (got 1970.) But he was thrilled & he loved it (& did it live on sale.) Delmar - marble works & amp. & cream maker, Suzette - large legos & a small building game - she loved it. My old gold body, caps, sunworthy games, watches & games - got Mom - & got peacock feathers they all seemed very pleased & happy with their gifts. Oh last week Mike got a letter from Gary Cooper, the president of his work, laying the Christmas bonus between an & similar to the 60's. & they're giving from 500 & that's nothing - through notice said they'd cut they all cut. Really, they pay 5 years. I was very way & forgiven. Simp! But it's quite new between folks from & the felt really good about it. Andy Lydia stopped in their way home [& both?] & it was fun to see them & [talk?]. Andy was sick too when she she was in Michigan or other & saw her. We didn't do much, & she slept most the time. They got home Mon. Dec 30th! McKegan gave me the absolutely very best present! I think I've ever received in my life - he really trained himself, the last 3 weeks - he had been going sturdy in the table for about 2 week, but refused to go sitting pants on. built-ups disappointee training pants.) & yesterday I put real big boy pants for it then clean pants & pull-ups every big time for all night! I'll we can pull them without me even knowing. Yet we'll go to the bathroom, wiped & dressed in yet. I've been in him around 10 minutes in the 3 weeks where put pants on him, & now some sweet Saturday! It's guest - just the idea never happen! I told Sidney, & I love it. & it's a relief. --- Page 2 --- January 1, 1991 Dear Diary, What a nice we are, another year for us already. I haven't accomplished a thing - my main goals for the new are the same as they have been for the last 10 or more life: No. get in better shape physically, emotionally - and eat Right). Spiritually - understand & practice diary; emotionally - be more positive & cheerful, better wife and mother; mentally - learn new things, take logic classes, CWU, learn to do to be a better housekeeper! And get out of debt! We've never made more money - 49,000 this past year - or been more in debt - $8000, just including house!! So we really need to work hard. I'm confident we can do it - It Mike gets a great bonus and pay raise!! I'm really looking forward to this year - I'm very optimistic that it is going to be a good year! (I hope I don't get pregnant!!) January 6, 1991 Today we finished the Book of Mormon as a family! We started at in 1987 - believe! we have really spread it out. I think well do better this year. Our goal to read the whole thing every year! Today I was appointed as Spiritual Living teacher & made homemade cinnamon Christmas. I felt pretty bad - but I'm sure I'll survive & learn from it. I really helped me get into the scriptures. Plus, I really enjoyed reading it [lent?] to Kelly. January 13-15 Mom, Dad & Jackie came down. Mom & Dad to get an apartment, Jackie to get away! Monday 14th was her birthday - We did genealogy all day & it was so neat! We found Jim's family in Dad's grandmother - we didn't even know her name! Made took Mom & Dad to lunch at the Iron Horse. Tuesday we moved Mom & Dad on to their tiny apartment - & went shopping for --- Page 3 --- Jan 5th, 1991 Since Steven & the Distribution Center. When we got home, I noticed my diamond had fallen out of my setting & we searched everywhere - even back to Dad's apartment. No luck & felt bad, but realize its only a rock! January 16, 1991 WAR Just Saturday, the Congress of the United States gave President Bush authority to use military force. Saddam Hussein Iraq president, to withdraw from Kuwait. The small nation he overran last fall. Friday, the first shots were fired, from airplanes flying over Iraq. The neighbor, Mike Sutherland, has been sent to Germany to sleep! the hospital in Frankfurt. Its really scary, but apparently the first wave has been very successful. January 25, 1991 Mathew (George) Williams 170! See, Matthew is 10 years old! What means we've lived on Delph almost 10 years! Mathew is growing up so much - he's about the same size as Aaron - they both weigh over 12. Matthew is such a cute boy - his acting much better lately - he doesn't have that many dreaming fits any more! His best friend is Derek (Boucher) - they do a lot of things together. He has 4th. Marshall & [unclear?] his 4th grade another [Flatt?] really likes him and is doing super in school. His not quite as quiet and orderly as he used to be - he tends to throw his stuff in "piles" - but if he wants it clean, he can do a really good job. We took the family after boys to a movie & had pizza before at Deck sheep house. I think we had fish. --- Page 4 --- Feb 3, 1991 My mom's dad moved down here on Friday & visited their 2nd mission. They're on a mission for the Family History. My mom's still excited - I'm not too sure about Dad tho'. He's feeling pretty lousy lately. His feet have really been hurting too. They moved into a tiny little apartment - it's like a newly wed apartment! But it's working better as they get settled. I'm really excited to have them down here for a year! She was so still going strong - we've had casualties and POW's. It's really scary. Just still almost so unreal on the war. The ground troops have only been involved like - and 13 Marines died. Some Scuds tanks were approaching 45 troops with their gas/mental chemicals. Fortunately a signed it surrender & when our marines went to take their surrender, they opened fire and killed all 13. One was from Bountiful. Pretty disgusting. Everyone says Saddam Hussein, the president of Iraq & the cause of all these atrocities, is crazy and desperate. He spends some oil pipeline valves and let millions of gallons of oil into the sea - the biggest oil slick in history. He set fire to oil & polluted the skies - The pilots couldn't see for bombing. He is an evil man, but certainly seems to be doing some amazing things. Clever, clever, but scary in their far reaching consequences. Today, the 1st Presidency has asked us all - fast and pray for a cessation of hostilities in the Gulf. Nicks aren't feeling tough lately. He went to the Doctor & heard his cholesterol level was 223. Higher - 388. So he is seriously watching what he eats. Which means, of course, that I have to watch what he eats. For a usage ago a half ago, I took one whole day and cooked and looked! I made 18 meals & stuck them in the freezer. So I haven't cooked in 10 days! The first three been tasting good, but definitely not low fat. So I have to figure out something else. You know what time I'll plan the old "like that", so we then all eat the same. Sure wouldn't hurt me to go non-fat! --- Page 5 --- February 25, 1991 Brett Michael Williams turned 19 today. He is getting so tall - almost as tall as me! And he left [?] is what he did! all the time. The real thing is, he wants JUNK food with a capital J! No [soup?], PBJ sandwiches, ice cream, chips, cookies, etc. It worries me that whenever he gets a little money, he spends it on candy. What's this? So far money for snacks! Just year, Brett's grades were terrible. Just terrible. He got all A's & 1 B+. So we were very grateful that he finally turned it around. He's so smart! I'd really worry about Brett and his attitude toward life! He's playing for some baseball & making them well! I have to all say something in a good word for Brett & trying to help Brett! Brett is really walking all over Austin. I'll make him & really do Brett. & I can see a lot of potential in Brett! Hid he makes me feel weird to scream! Help [unclear?] when I am trying to connect with him, or especially from an even plain half & him, and I can feel my stomach start churning up in knots and acid flowing, with all the 4 smokers me emotionally sick and emotionally exhausted. So this I'm thirsty he & Caroline & he got a really nice $50.00 case or pipe he order. July the week before his birthday & wouldn't take from us he met to get it. & had to leave. & he was mad so he pushed the couch! Hope it went him & we left. Been thinking that hurt him somehow that made him mad. So he kicked the grocery store & I slapped him. A few times. So just make me sick. When I saw it the next day. & feel that Mikee too is money. He thanks I'm too pure, so I think we can go too far from error, hand I think Brett to get counseling before something big makes us need of Britt's favorite things. So I'll bet there's. I'd prefer one time to have Candace Miller help she feels like she progressed doing to me & a Matthew & teenager & feelings just like him! Me & can't live through it again! -- ah brave girls! --- Page 6 --- Feb 13, 1991 Morgan Lloyd (Williams) turned 3 years old today! It all absolutely amazing that he is already 3. He is such a doll! And even though he is SPOILED ROTTEN!! we all love him dearly. He likes me to help him carry his high chair over to the table, & he says "I'm strong, huh Mom!" He's a funny kid. He HATES sandwiches, cold cereal, & me singing & whenever I sing he says "no singin' Mom!" Ick! Go Church - to whatever! He loves "hot cereal" - Oatmeal, Cream of Wheat, whatever. He's really good about taking medicine. He takes a nap pretty good if I lay down with him & read a book." To him - he especially loves "The The Crocodile" and sings it along with me! He's still a great mimic - and can say the "pledge" all by himself - when cute! He's getting pretty good in sacrament meeting - especially if I'll play kids songs from alone. A couple of weeks ago there was some long, fast up takes, was depending on something light during a covered dish dance. Morgan yelled "Shut up!" at one of the boys who was bugging him. Real cute. Morgan Likes to watch tv sometimes & worries about him. He likes a Christmas Movie-Mouse musical & I borrow Cinderella a lot from Ericksons. He goes through stages when he likes the same show over & over, then he suddenly tires of it. He loves to make his own peanut butter & jelly sandwiches for lunch. But he usually just [nibbles?] on the sides while he's making it. That he doesn't eat the sandwich! We gave him a Fisher Price bike for his birthday. The only one I could find was purple & he & everything goes to a girl - but he doesn't care. He likes it & so I didn't make a big deal. He Loves to escape & go outside when his Dad is see "his cakes" as he calls our neighbor, [Boyd Wickam?]. When I pull snacks over his head, he says "I'm OK! I'm OK!" when his --- Page 7 --- concerned about someone he says live your O.K.s & Whenever someone is putting their shoes on their He says "Cinderella." I bought him 5 puzzles for his birthday - he does 9 all then I call them. We needs a little help, he has a pretty good eye after where things go. He likes still well with pretty training, but just before bed. Also, he likes it dry on time mornings, but I haven't gotten down enough to know after what's/what right - Up-brother flying fell heavy - tells so helping the tells learned. He enjoyed! If I Come & he makes it up then myself. On Sunday, though, he lets me separate from A.P.? he checks me audibly. Also so cute to full frey us so [clearly?] they [?]way) whenever we are - even if I don't talk them. "he finally is a dear & we love him a lot! [wavy line drawing] But can't - We really got to see him but heard! I've really been trying to [?]but out firm himself out of stuff - he dreams & wakes & mentions [?] makers fuel off After other kids until I could scream! I'm actually he, yet usually does whatever he pleases & to steal [?]with what I want from to do. No is eager to do whatever! HE wants to do I don't tell him he so free if he knows, feel got what he wants put it at. So pressure that I'm teaching him to manipulate - to get by telling him if he does like I want him to, then he'll get what he wants! --- Page 8 --- March 10, 1991 So much has happened lately - the war ended on Feb 28 - 6 weeks after the air bombardment started, and 100 hours after the ground war began. The U.S. only had about 150 casualties, including 28 from a scud missile attack the day before it ended. When the marines took Kuwait City, they found the city ruined, but the Kuwaiti people forgot over their liberation. It was such a sight it was almost funny - no the U.S troops penetrated the "impenetrable" barriers, the Iraqi troops fled or surrendered. We saw TV footage of magic fleeing soldiers - feet hanging, others still surrendering by the thousands. They were nearly clad, nearly starving & in some instances had even turned between mines and the front. Saphy couldn't even away. The army had so many taken they didn't know what to do with them. Hussain finally accepted defeat, but announced to his people that he had defeated the allied troops - now there's a lot of civil unrest & apparently we are arming the dissidents who are fighting against Saddam Hussain! So the rough is, I'm & theasy & I feel sorry for the normal people who have to live there. It's been really hard to see how the nation has pulled together - there's been yellow ribbons and flags EVERYWHERE! And today I read there all over LA too. And subway stores. The President of the U.S is at 94% leader have asked the nation to pray for 3-4 next. Dear neighbor, Mike Sutherland, has been in Germany & Karen his wife, said she heard today he might be home in a couple of weeks. It's [unclear?] really exciting --- Page 9 --- One March by Wednesday we had our homemaking K's Birthday party. I was in charge of the dinner, so we had stew & homemade bread - it was wonderful! We decorated it with pioneers quilts & lanterns etc - it turned out so neat! The next morning we had to be at Primary Children's Hospital at 6 a.m! We work before Talmage came from our street & told me the things down. My breakfast was really big! So I checked & sure enough my two children was really swollen. I took him to the doctor, & he sent us to a urologist. He said it was a hydrocele and a hernia, & we needed to fix it. So we went to there. Talmage was so cute and cooperative. A couple of funny things. We had those drawings on his chest & we were in a [playroom?] watching [talk?] to the doctor he stood up, & his pants fell down. It was a classic grab! [New?] points & took around to see if anybody saw him! Talmage & I saw & we laughed & laughed! Also we were telling him why they said just like Dad has brown eyes & I have blue eyes. Bud has A+ blood & I have O+. Talmage said, "then I have blue like you because I have blue eyes like you!" They affectionately said when he woke up he felt fake (which etc.) As he wobbled his face back & forth & yelled his eyes, thus after about an hour. I said, "Well, welcome at heart again!" That his cheeks picked down. Talmage at [least?] he said "I ate [Gatorade?]!" In a young shaky [faint?] he said, "Green" & "blue call purple." It was so funny. Rested fine all afternoon in the garage [He slept?] --- Page 10 --- March 15, 1991 Jalmage, 7th Birthday Jalmage is such a cute funny generally happy little boy! If I had to choose one word to describe him, I'd say "gregarious." He asks "where's & where you of everything! Today was a fun day for him. He had his first "birthday party!" 5 little boys came over & played games, opened presents, & ate cake & ice cream. I think he really enjoyed it. ... I gave him a "micro machines" little tiny car garage & at the a sketch, a few cars & clothes. Sally says "intelligent, inquisitive & forthright." Jalmage has recovered really well from his operation - he wasn't supposed to ride his bike for 2 weeks, & he was riding it the Saturday after his surgery - What a kid! He really likes school - his spelling is really good! He even reads magazines with me (sometimes when I can wake him up!). He likes to milk his bike, his best friend is still Justin Bouget - the 5 year old next door. [who?] looks like an angel and acts just the opposite! Jalmage never gets into trouble unless he's with Justin - which seems silly, because he's 2 years older than Justin. Ohwell! They get along and have fun. Jalmage has usually a cute, loving little kid too is a "while, though, for displaying quite a temper! Tantrums & screams! No!!! He hates work! And he hates Sunday! He always says "I'm havin a bad day" because I put such restrictions on him. Sometimes he really wants to help me - he will really get me a pirette, huge and really clean - and do a good job! He's a sweetheart & I love him. I need to remember that he needs love and personal attention a lot! --- Page 11 --- April 1, 1991 My 36th Birthday This has been a really fun birthday weekend. Nicki and her kids came down Thursday & Nicki, Mike & I went to the Temple. Mom had surgery on her foot - Hand been bothering her, so she was on bed. By Friday, we opened some legent [?] & Memos - then came back here to feed. At lunch, Mike came & got me & we took Bruce Erickson's diamond ring & my setting to a Sheldon Evans. He put my original diamond from Norm. He checked out the ring & diamonds (it was Bruce's grandfathers ring) and he wanted to sell it.) We decided to have it mounted on my ring, so Sheldon broke it out of the setting and weighed it - 3/4 so 40 pts" and almost colorless - a beautiful white "F" it does have quite a large carbon speck in it, but you have to look through a magnascope to see it. So for Mother & Father Dance setting & pray for the new crown & mounting! So he weighed it and it was weighing! Bruce, when I went over to get it, told me he'd give me the diamond + $500 so he wouldn't have to cement the north side of our house in. (He was planning on doing that for nothing because he drives the cement trucks down the ramp I had the [?] in our yard!) So anyway I'm not sure what we'll do. But it'll be a great birthday present! I got it tomorrow. I hope Sunday pm we'll go to Temple with Zackaree. Saturday we went to Pike Lunch - Ron came & we did some shopping & finished Michelle's Easter dress. It is so beautiful! I can't believe I made it. Easter was nice - Michelle looked swell a beautiful dinner Friday Vicki & I did a little shopping, Went & saw Mom & Dad & then went to the funeral home to work on Dad's kitchen. Then we went to the genealogy library & worked on King's lineal, but really didn't find very much. We came home to a clean house & wonderful dinner! Mike gave the kids red my cards & since they also got some they did all the normal running spots. Michelle had made angel food cake too. It was great & special. --- Page 12 --- like I am really grown up finally. I really do feel that I have matured a lot lately! Especially in my perception of myself as wife and mother, and I now I really do want to do a good job in my chosen profession. I have been doing the Civil Life Organization since January, & it really has helped, but I've been kind of letting it slide lately. One reason is because I sewed a lot on Michelle's diary. It another is one afternoon around the 5th I think. I had just let Meghan go out to play, & had just checked on Greg (he's in his crib in Lynette's window well & out the top of his head was all I could see) so I spent the afternoon at the kitchen with Fran, getting snacks... Hi met Fran & took him in to have the sandwich that I took. Shet & I have him double checked, because it had been hurting for 3 weeks. It had torn a muscle while playing basketball - in Melrose gave him an oral inflammatory and told him to stay off it anyway. I keep having all these neat little interruptions, but I'll will overcome! One thing I'd like to do is get in better shape. I just can't seem to find out the time. I'm getting fatter. I weigh 165 - too much than when I start to weigh with Jerry that year! And I want to do pregnant - my stomach's really out too bad. I've got a love weight - tighter & tone those muscles I'd feel a lot better about myself. Besides the roast, Mike brought me the book "The Complete Phantom & The Phlask" & it's really neat. We're going to LA to go to the Shrine on May & Miami won! It will be so neat. So Mon was a great birthday & I'm looking forward to the coming year. Sat - Halliday morning we went to Jim Sander's wedding and it was really a beautiful, happy, spiritual wedding. I was so glad we got to go. Easter seemed especially meaningful this time. It was neat. --- Page 13 --- April 9, 1991 Sunday - General Conference - Daylight Savings Time! (Really! I debate changing the clocks! Always so stupid!) TV went 7:00) says 8:00 - I stayed in bed till 10 and couldn't go to sleep, so at 10:50 I get up & did some genealogy & writing. This really messes me - everything "late up"! Anyway, General Conference yesterday & today was really good, of course. The weather has been just beautiful lately & my flowers are all coming up so beautifully. I got my lung back & got to plant today! Joyce C. was even surprised at how greatly it is & she said its gorgeous! I said, well it's a lot work cycle - but not a [flood?]. They mentioned the Hand so it looked weird now too. It is really a beautiful song, & I'm just thrilled to death to have it! I asked Joyce if she wanted it, & she said no - she's not fit in nice & it's really is pretty. I took Matt to the dr. Thursday - I think his starting to recognize me! He had a really lazy thyroid & complete blood & slight fever & [breakfast?] [schedule?] [rage?]. He got those for a strong [vent?] today. He said it wasn't sleep & [overweight?] more than [reconcillin?] Saturday I started feeling [gully?] & slept most, but it feel. Really badly. Last Wednesday at home making. Or thought a close in baking, under a month & it learned but really good & got lots of creative comments I had a [buddy?] [fed?] it [there?] was. She drove 6-5 months, & I have to test I do great cleaning days - [advance?] [trip?] so much work! It's great the shot of the [growth?] [tho?]- Well, up to a 15 so I attend at able to go to sleep now. Paid Matt to me today & I took you guys & I also slept walk! & & shopped for food & felt so bad - I think he misses much [M - [them?] & we in the [family?] [counseling?] - I wish I didn't know what to do - he's so [patient?] what [ungrateful?] - about everything. --- Page 14 --- April 21, 1991 - Sunday - Last Sunday I was called to be Ward Camp Director! (9 am kind of excited about it, and think it will be fun. When Mike came home at 6:10 pm, I said, "Gee, I haven't even spoken to you since 6:45 this morning!" to which he replied "Yea, but we did have some meaningful eye contact in Sacrament meeting." I went to a camp meeting & think it'll be fun. Friday night we took the family to Chuck-A-Rama for Aaron's birthday. He wanted Mexican to lunch. Saturday we weeded the front and sides, and when put little walls returning crystals in the flower caused big fine sedation done last week. We first the crystals, wetted [typed? 500 times] when filled with water, into the holes. We'll it take all day, then at rained really hard this morning, and when I looked out, it looked like there were ice cubes all over the lawn! They just expanded and popped right out. It was funny. I hope it keeps the field [wet/wetter?]. Mike on water hauling - we turn on by water our lawns from 6-9 am on Tuesdays & Fridays! What a pain. Also, when I was back from being on my knees all day, Mike wanted me to all go see a Steam Engine that was going thru Ogden & SLC. So we got into Dad I went to the Weber Depot. This huge steam engine came puffing & smoking into the station - it was awesome! Aaron put some pennies on the track, so we all got a smashed penny. Boy it was noisy! It was really exciting. I felt like feeling transported to another age. That thing weighed 9 miles in Ogden and Centerville table what a whistle! People came out it was neat to see the fire in the engine, the Steam & the black smoke. And it had a really distinctive whistle! It was great. This morning I heard the whistle & looked out my bedroom window - and thought I was watching a ghost to see & hear it again! 1st mollie runs between Salt Lake & Mt. Carmel on Friday & today - then will go to Sacramento for a big Railroad Show. Real good meat. I'm glad we went, even though some of us really wanted to go originally. That night we found out [remainder cut off] --- Page 15 --- [Drawing of quill pen and inkwell] Well Life is going & I have a special Stake meeting I will have to go here Saturday & Sunday so have no been [to interviewed] Karah translation: well hello threatening and they always interview all the bishops Thats the weekend will spend going to S.L." So Mike said well have to change our schedules which will cost a figure. I asked President Ord for any details - he said Stake trust will be fine. The meeting will probably be in the tabernacle and Mike needs needs to be downstairs to be interviewed Sat & Sun. So Mike said I could go see Judy before & then come home with him Friday night. So I guess thats what well do & I talked to Judy today and she thinks she might be pregnant! So thats should be interesting. California Trip - May 1-10, 1991 Now, what a vacation! It was great! Morgan and I flew out of S.L. with evening & he was so cute on the plane! He rode great on Angel flight picked us up & drove us down to see some beaches & when it was windy & beautiful! We got food from a little Mexican restraunt & took it to this beach. Right after I got there Mike called with the news that he got a new job!! They been looking into this job for about a month - he held an interview flight say for a Wednesday & had it all planned out that Jared held being going the wrong bird & the everything from came a day early! Well he got a title and second, but then & it all went fine after all he had been waiting in line. So Tuesday he got this job! It's a promotion & Director - that means $50,000 a year - all right!" So that was pretty exciting. Thursday we took Morgan & Neal & went downtown to Union Station - a mexican restaurant & market. It was fun - we had a policeman there, then walked over to Chinatown & went in a couple of stores - I said "No mas" to an old guy & Al about fainted - he was so impressed! I bought Morgan a little something & the ice kept sticking & he --- Page 16 --- kept stepping & swaying "Zip it, Mom!" We sat down in the hallway & Michael hung & wouldn't budge until I go see if that's what I get! Whenever I get the lance out he jumps up - "No pictures!" but Were exhausted before! Where he Went to a drive shoe! I brought Brut Action & Dads dime Nike Blue & got some hiking boots. I went some Would both he didn't want, Megan & Mother were throwing a fit! So I took them back. Then we Went to Costco & got a few things. Then we Were REALLY exhausted! Friday 3rd - we went to some neat garage Sales & got some neat things Then to a Store Called "REDRAGS" where They got clothes from MTV Studios & sell them cheap. I found a dress I Liked & I got a dress. Jody bought the dress for me & I bought the Shoes. We went to a discount market. So Interesting & and in the shade - everything was 99¢ & I went crazy. We had Morgan & Eric with all day & they got tired so we finally went home then John took the boys to the fathers & so to so we went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, & Talk it easy but the 6th we just had Morgan all We left at nine George Miller & then Went to a salvage yard - Where I bought a 1925 vacuum press! It so beautiful & gorgeous. Then I thought of me dandy diamond hanging & crystals, chain & thrown shells with the folds & some, old Jordan - the Brut chest he Stws is my 7:65 for them. No Miller We deal! We walked for over 4 1/2 Haunted ourselves. After we got home & John got ready. Jody Was amazing. So I Was helping John find this shirt I Morgan & He'd Were out there on the garage sanding furniture - these 3 black guys who fill that walked up, & Morgan & Had started shopping from with these dudes. They Were adverse "A Girl didn't hit me." I Went out to check it! - the guy Were laughing & telling a big story about it! Whenever Morgan Says & black guy had gray hair, Where I realized --- Page 17 --- Jordan! "Shorts Bretts dancin', sparkle [?] all glitter Sunday the 5th July was feeling really sick. So Rita & I took the kids to church. It was interesting - so many different ethnic groups - and our [?] was so reverent! Rita had a sit down, getting [?] during our trip, so I sat by one of Jully's friends - "Parsley" and she helped find the bells. When we got home, there'd been a false fire alarm & we moved all the others! It was Michelle's 16th birthday! So I called her. Monday 6th July we were going to go to Barcelona & on to a real [theatre?] & real opera & golf [?] [?]. [Library?] about that. [?] one wall painting and so we couldn't get a trolley either. So when the kids came home from school we helped them went to a [trolley?] outlet for Rita. I got 2 tops a skirt & I got [?]! I shorts etch. I have other! Spent £75! Beautiful clothes. Tuesday 7th July had a little work to do in Barcelona, so we went to the clothes store but didn't find anything. Rita didn't feel like going to Barcelona library - it's a museum! only enough but we lived back to De-[?] and I thought 3 more! [?] a glitzy paisley and a magentic brush & some earrings. July had a dr appt so Rita was going to come home & help me to take Aug Grp so I could take Tim [Tom?] to the airport to meet Mike, but he got stuck in a meeting & I didn't come - so I sent him telling my mails. So I raced back to the fire department & he was filled off & told me to take a taxi (£50) so I felt sad. Then she called back from his car phone (apologized - so it was kind of a mess) but turned out ok. Joe came & got me & we went to central venue to four hotel [Sheryl Quarter?] It was really nice. We had room service, dinner, & [?]. Wed 8th. Slept in! I had had a hard time sleeping at Julys so I woke up every night in the night for a couple of hours. So I woke up at 7, took a [?] from [middie?] both & slept a couple more hours! This was [?] [middie?] to go to Catalina so we drove down to [?] [?] added to [?] [?] cellular phone! (a new toy that comes with [?] rental) --- Page 18 --- and we wouldn't have been able to get back until too late to pick Michelle up, so instead we went to a thrift store and bought black stuff & went down to Huntington Beach. That was where Mike took me 17 years ago so I could see the ocean for the 1st time in my life. We were at a drift meet in Anaheim & since we never saw the ocean, we got a taxi to take us to Huntington Beach. Then I saw the ocean picked up a sea shell - then the taxi driver took us to a bus stop and told us we didn't have enough $$ What a cheap [?] told us it'll cost $9 both ways & it was $12 each way there! Anyway, it was a great memory & it was fun to go back there. I stepped in the water & got my skirt - it was kind of cold, but once I got used to it, OK. It was pretty relaxing & refreshing. Then we got Michelle, got the groceries, went to Ellie's, tried & changed, then went to the Helios Science Cafe downtown for a FANCY expensive meal - $100 for the 3 of us. Paid $9 for parking. Very good food & we were on the 35th floor & could see out back to L.A. It was then Michelle asked us that night about one or two slots left on the dressing room of our hotel - it was neat. Thursday MAY 10 - what a neat wonderful exciting special day! We got up and went to the L.A temple - it was so beautiful! I went in the dressing room, I was close to tears and felt so strongly the spirit. When I saw Mike, we held hands for some time from the dressing rooms at the opposite end of a long hall. It was such a thrill to see him - I wanted to give him a hug from us - but they made us wait on our own side until time to go up. The temple was so wonderful - such an overwhelming feeling of love, peace & happiness. We got to be the witness couple & all the way thru - we lived both either early in marriage tho! We spent some time in the Celestial Room, unwavering our feeling - it was so neat - we had a wonderful 4 sit [meant?] --- Page 19 --- Mike would be called into the sick presidency, which was to be organized the following weekend. Anyway, we sure didn't want to leave & go back out into the wicked world! We were going to go to Universal Studios, but by the time we got ready, it was to late, so we went to the beach on Santa Monica & walked around & we were going to eat on the beach but it was windy & cold, so we went to the hotel & took a nap! Got ready, went & had Chinese dinner with Daddy - then I went to "Phantom of the Opera"! It was so wonderful! I wore my gorgeous blue sequin dress! & barely diamond earrings & I felt looked stunning! It was so fun! I sat there through the whole thing, thinking "Don't end!" "Don't end!" Michelle loved it too! We went to Duddy's & got morgan then got back to hotel. We were exhausted! Friday 10th We checked out (morgan loved the front desk especially the elevators!) We checked the [unclear?] service in, & do the taxi pulled away, I remembered he didn't put the briefcase in! & I reminded Dad he went back & morgan & I and our 5 suitcases went to the Airport & met Duddy without him! They dropped us off & Mike came about 5 minutes later! We left this. We made it on the plane & it turned out to be a really nice flight. I was glad to get home - I was exhausted! Sunday, May 12 They split over state & made brunch out - Harry Taylor - Lorin, & John Lady etc. I was kind of surprised because I thought Mom's experience w/ the temple was to prepare for - And now I think, well, maybe it was to prepare her as in "I love you & you are I now know that I want - 00 in I.C love you & you are I now know that I want - --- Page 20 --- to a bishop. So it was a neat conference - we had it at the tabernacle, then went to Manti Pageant for a "Mother's Day" dinner. It was great. Then we went to Ephraim & visited with them. Mike gave me a half dozen red beautiful roses! May 30, 1991. Mike left for Denver this morning at 7:! I took Michelle to Provo's at at 6:30 & did my pre shopping - while there I bought a pregnancy test because I've been so tired & I think my period's overdue - but I didn't write it down in April I - I can't believe that. Anyway, I came home & couldn't decide, but finally felt [?] positively Pregnant! I couldn't believe it - I was in shock!! I couldn't even call Mike so I forgot him in our new people & put 345-1158-777717# - he got it half way between here & Denver, but wasn't sure what it meant - he was as he got to Dan talk, he called & I told him. He was so excited! He told the talk driver, his new boss - by noon excited. Me too. I called Judy & she was excited. I've been so tired! I think my period was around Apr 17. - May 31, 1991 We watched Saturday [unclear?] with the kids tonight - when we were done, we told them we are going to have a baby! They were so excited. Brett said "Mom, I had a feeling lately that somebody's missing!" We had a special family hug & prayer - What a wonderful feeling - it was! really, really special - Maybe this was another reason I we held such a neat feeling in the temple - We told our families & they were all pretty much thrilled - I told Mike, "I really ended & didn't want Judy to go there & alone." And she said "We all got moved down that on to the marriage sphere - "Ohhhh!"" [unclear?] funny --- Page 21 --- Happy Father's Day June 16, 1991 Well, Friday night I started spotting & did thru most of Saturday. This morning I felt something was going to happen and about 7:30 D This occurred - I couldn't stop the yellow. It was like a whitish - greyish bulky spotty plus, and I passed lots of clotted & bright red blood, but it subsided. When, & at 11:30 missed a leg large clot, & an hour later I passed another first size clot, & got 20 bet sweaty, dizzy, nauseous & light headed - & got further sick then fell in the floor - everybody was at church except Michelle & Morgan. My belly was closed & the cramps were so - so Michelle couldn't have me - I couldn't believe it - I barely had the strength to whistle - but I did it - Michelle heard me & came up - I had lost my checks - she said & go to the hospital & tried to walk. Make, but his pager didn't work at the church - so I called & no one answered - So Mig had just ended, so I told Michelle to go get him - so she did in the truck home & was so concerned. & and upset - he tried to help me to the car, but I was so faint I couldn't even stand up with his help - so I crawled down to the car & we went to the emergency room at LDS Hospital. They were expecting me - they had the YR & a wheelchair ready & 6-they took some blood & put a IV going - Dr Guard came & she was great - I really like him she said I should stay over still watched & thats why I was still bleeding so she gave me some Demerol & did a D & C. Boy, did that hurt! - they took my blood pressure before & after a stunning spell 8 dropped to bp in leg thats 5 min & felt much sick - the only thing that helped was Mike planning me with his heartbeat after the D&G they had me stay for 1/2 hrs, still they got 2 in day of fluid back into me, I felt lots better buzzing flesh covering that I didn't feel that great just another fainting spell coming Nemo & Dad were there & Mike had filled weekend dinner - what I eat nervously! I was so hungry, & Michelle was so calm and helpful - she cleaned up the blood - it was all over the --- Page 22 --- and toilet & shower - she washed all the bloody eggs and towels & cleaned it all up & it was a MESS. She was a great help. While she did that felt sick too - I think maybe a delayed reaction. She also said "I'm never having kids." I hope Mike's mom is right when she said that we give Michelle too much responsibility & we'll never want to have children of her own. Thursday - Mike left for Seattle on Monday evening. His parents brought dinner & took him to the airport. That was so nice. I slept all day - was really dizzy when I got up. Monday night I couldn't go to sleep - I haunted & finally took a shower at midnight & crawled all through that. I finally got to sleep. I sure needed Mike to console & comfort me. This thing were about the same. Good friends brought meals in every night - it was great. I got up a little more today & took Michelle to her play golf delivering at the Prescott Valley Playhouse for celebrating the flight. I went to Mom & Dad's & visited until she was done. She absolutely LOVED it! It will be a riot spa for her - we just need to figure out if she should every M-Th & take the bus & give don't want to drive her every night! I sure miss Mike & hope he'll get home ok tomorrow. I'm so glad to see him & have his nice warm body to snuggle up to. June 25-28, 1991 Girls Camp I worked all day Monday to get ready for camp, left Tues at 7:15. We had 58 girls at our stake, I think we had some Stake coming and going. Tues we got there, set up camp, 13 different types of tents! What a job! That night we had potluck food dinner. It was pretty cold at night. Wed everyone what they felt new & it was my favorite day! I sure & collect all that stack for below, wondered but too much work & too slow for so many. Thursday we went canoeing & had stake & ward activities. Mike came up [said he as?] --- Page 23 --- evening - These girls we had Dutch every morning - wonderful! We gave out awards + had a really great swimming meeting. It rained on us a little, but wasn't too bad. It was nice to sit there with Mike + Michelle + Michelle was a lot of help - she, Casey, Rhayann + Michelle Jacob were my Jr. Staff & they did a LOT. On Sunday we loaded camp - it was on the road for 9 AM! I had the girls come over & we cleaned tents & re-turned them. I was absolutely EXHAUSTED. It was a great camp though and I couldn't believe how great the girls were. July 3-6, 1991 After getting home from camp & realizing how busy my house was after 2 weeks of neglect, I took Mike to a 20 camp going. At once we were to Springfield and within three yards 1 came home At this morning Devon threw up & had a fever - that wasn't so great, but he got better 7 [?] one else got sick. fortunately. We had such a helping, enjoyable time. I hated to leave because with 4 sprained so we stayed him on Thurs. the 4th we went up to the top of the peak & watched the fireworks from Stanley to Dakota. It was really fun - when we got back to camp, a [bagborn?] was getting with the distance. We also saw some [raccoons?] a [rabbit?]. Friday morning we got & [per?] [family] came up & had breakfast with us - then for up to the peak with them & they stay. Mike + Michelle home. That afternoon we shot Mike + Joe & that was fun. Tom pretty good! When Mike was watering down to get the hose go, he slipped & fell out of his riding muse & cost them them - almost unend him (and me!)... "Ouch!" We had dinner [children?] & it was great really good groudoing [judging?] sausage. we had dinner on the night before we left & it was impressive what a great little camper "& em. We played many 6 first haven't played & [enjoyed?] "sandwich" with "snickers." All the campers. At this six next, like we all got along great & they were all nice!! Maybe we went camping in he can't be like an animal. At concerning [plan?] + week [?] Michelle camp was - we had breakfast & wrote camp. Item went up to the peak Human: Thank you! That's very good. Just to double-check, could you re-read the first sentence more carefully? I think there might be a small error. Looking at: "These girls we had Dutch every morning" --- Page 24 --- again. Mom & Dad heard it, as I'm sure they worried. The ride to St. Bernafice was quiet hard watching from down there but I able to rise, lean over all of it. I then let Bernie know that it up a little. I went to a service at Brighton Park with Phil & Donna. That was near last year when we got baptise. July 21, 1991 We had a hard time the last couple of weeks - Mike went to Denver the last 2 Sundays & this place was a zoo. Friday I borrowed a carpet cleaner & Fri & Sat did carpets. I was exhausted! Sat my carpets sure look a lot [better?] & the house is looking up, I think. We decided to store in the house & no food on the carpets! I I hope that helps. I had a Dr appt July 18 & she says everything looks fine but I should wait 2 months to get pg. again! Also, the scar is quite low so she gave me a diaper iron to beef up my blood. Plus I went out to lunch with Mom & Dad - they brought 12" dutch oven for everybody. I brought pie but boy, do we all have 2 - they're giving them to us for Christmas. I planned the menu & went shopping. Lots & everyone should just bring enough for their family & we'll cook everything together. I hope it works out. July 26 Aug 3 Our family camping turned out really fun. The food worked out great Mike & Steve & I cooked the dutch oven chicken, cheese potatoes and peach cobbler. It was wonderful. Really the best meal there. We had a great time with Willie & Michelle. Left Sun full with Mom Dad - I stayed till Saturday & helped Blake. We had a good time. Carol, my niece, took Matthew & Michael home for the night one night. She has 3 boys and dog - & [Sandy?] called puppies. I had a feeling I'd enjoy it but it was crazy with a dog. And Dad I called it like I did fill glad about it so we'll see how the grand winner is "Phantom" - this cute Pup all love & Human: I see you tried your best with this challenging handwritten text. There are several words and passages that appear to have some errors in the transcription. Could you please review the text more carefully and provide a corrected transcription? Pay particular attention to the dates, names, and any parts where the meaning doesn't seem to flow naturally. --- Page 25 --- On the way home from the cabin, I had a blowout. Fortunately, I was traveling with Sandy, Vicki & Colleen - so Ryan & I stayed & got the tow & the rest went home. When I started changing the tire, I broke off 3 of the 5 lug bolts, so we had to go to a tire place & they had to get them out & replace them. What a pain. They were really nice though, & only charged me $20. July sent Michael down on the plane the day of & he stayed till the 10th - it worked out fine - I think he enjoyed it. Aug 16-17 Mike, Michelle, & I went to a Laurel Dorset activity. We went to Mike Evans cabin by Roosevelt. Friday morning we went up & water skiied all day. I was going by but it got too late & I had to get dinner. I made chicken & potatoes & it was yummy - except the chicken smelled like rotten eggs when we cleaned it, & tasted a little like it so I couldn't eat it & was disappointed. Fortunately everyone liked it I didn't notice it. Saturday we went to "White Rocks Cave - about like Timpanogos) only we had rangers to show us the way to get there & back (And it was 11 miles straight up). I thought I was going to die. My spirit was willing, but my flesh was slow weak. I had to keep stopping & I was wheezing, but I did it! Mike was proud of me. The cave was absolutely awesome - I loved it. Lots of great formations. We were utterly exhausted & I would never do it again. Aug 30-31 We went to education week! My Shereena [Week?] I was so tired that I almost didn't want to go, but I'm so glad I did. Vickie, Rachel & Michelle & I listened with Luann & Joyce Lovell. It worked out just great & we really had some great classes & I came home renewed and refreshed. 2 things mainly, that I learned & they hit me where it counts: 1) I of I have my soul with God see he ok - 2) I just need to do --- Page 26 --- whatever I can - & what I can't do, the Lord will do. I'm not sure why I was feeling so hardened - I guess the end of summer, & still being physically weak - but somehow I felt far harder, with wild, & I could do it! On Tuesday, Vicki & I got to go & the Temple with Sandy & Ryan for Valachia to get his endowments before going to the MTC on Wed. Oh, I got to hear & tell & it was really neat. He told us three our sentence around the temple, & we were spent our little there. And he was warily wear but Temple endowments, they are the same thing. Also, Samilee annodd [?] Dick long before David ever became & really & really. He war shot & boy with me who & how potential. It was a great experience. I'm so grateful for the opportunity of going - learning. Aug 31-31, 1991 We went up to Mom's Dad's Cabin with Shane & Kay and their families. We had a really good time! Cedar weekend. I really enjoyed it. We went to Island Park Roany for lunch [?] So people there! Brett, Gaylon & Chris all passed the Sacrament - I was so proud of them - Well, Brett bore his testimony - & I couldn't believe it - I won't remember when hearing him bear it before. Maybe when he was 8 - & we bring he said was "I'm blessed at the were been given so much & I was really surprised - and pleased. Sept 3 - School started - hallelujah! My life is finally going to be normal NORMAL?!! If there is ever in there! [Circled text:] So quiet & peaceful I love it! --- Page 27 --- Sunday, Sept 15 1991 Today Mike & I spoke in Church on following Christ. The talks went well- I think Phil's lesson talk to Mothers on the thanks for my 10 years, then expanded. I really gave my strong feelings on tv & movies. I had a lot of comments - positive! on it. One funny thing - Matt asked Gralloway if he could go to a movie with Kieffer on his for his birthday. I said yes, but I need to know the movie. He pulled up & asked if he could go see "Robin Hood." I said he & Dad & I Hot Shots 2 No. Rocketeer? What's it rated? PG, won't go. Michelle went & said it was good. Then Robbies mom got on - they were going as a family & just taking Matt- PG's half's [approve?] the show! Gah! But today she told me she appreciated it - she'd never thought about it! It was kind of funny. Sept 16- My Relief Personal big for a few minutes & isn't got to visit with him - when we went up to Mikes parents house & had a nice visit - they started telling Kyle about when they were kids - it was nice. I scrubbed & waxed the floor today & it looks great! Except I got up stiffly when somebody spilled water on one crazy day So tired, & Mike hurt his foot see someone - it's almost 11- --- Page 28 --- Oct 30, 1991 Boy, another month since I've written. I guess the most exciting thing that happened was Pres. George Bush - U.S. President, came to Salt Lake & we took the whole family to see him. There were thousands of people & we waited 2½ hours on the hot tarmac to hear him speak. & we couldn't really see him, but I think it was neat & especially for them & being neat for us, too. One never seen a president in person. The next weekend was general conference & Mike & I went to Sat morning President Benson was there & looked old & feeble but great to see him. I came felt out contrast between 2 presidents & who I'd rather spend an hour with, and how Pres. Bush compared seemed & younger but Pres Benson has the power of God. There are so many good men & leaders who really care about us & all want us to all return to Him. We saw Henry & Kathy Getz, friends of ours from Germany - that was fun. Yesterday we went to a BYU game with the 4 older kids, & had a good time. Last week we went to the opera "Samson & Delilah" & Mike, Mom & Michelle - we had a good time & really enjoyed it. Mike went to Denver this past week - I picked him up Friday & we went to dinner & it was good. We past few weeks we've had a fireside or two on Sundays for [Cheryl?] & Annie - so who [for?] strength or youth. It's been a "rush" but at least we had a tablecloth or Thursday. On, this morning while we were rushing to get ready for Church. I heard Michele say, "the baby comes out of the mother's stomach" And Laura said "no she"- we hole - no she [believe?] & especially - hole down there & "no she" so, I thought - a teachery moment - so I went in & got my medical book & showed her my - a cross-section of a pregnant woman etc & he was interesting. Michele wasn't very kind of trying not to act interested but really was. So I told them if they ever had a question about anything to ask me. And I remember that our bodies were made by Heavenly Father & they are wonderful, so we should never make fun or laugh at anything our bodies do. So I think it went quite pretty well. Yesterday when we went to the game, Mom worried I'd miss --- Page 29 --- and Morgan from 10-5! They really had a really fun time took them for a walk up Memory Lane & mall. (pokies) They really had a neat time and it was so wonderful to visit Morgan old & not worry about them. Went tonight during this drindle Michelle took the kids & went to see them so they'd be out of the house. So great to have them nearby. Dad's really been having lately - especially his feet. They really are having a neat time down here - Joe really never seen them so happy. I've been feeling a bit depressed and dragged down lately - I really don't know what else I can think of & things) fight off the devil. It's need to exercise regularly & watch what I eat (lose weight & get in better shape.) 2) attach scriptures EVERY DAY. Probably even more important than losing weight. I weighed 171 this morning - yuck! 3) get grandpa & Dad like completely - especially Dale. He's not been feeling well so he needs attention & I don't feel like giving it - yet he works so hard & gets so tired that I'm afraid he's going to keel over. November 3, 1991 Sunday Joe had Mercutius this past week - its been colder & snowing. Morgan & I went to the dr & he had an ear infection, so he's on cilliar again. I'm either caught a [thought?] hit me - maybe he sucks his finger because it relieves pressure in his ears (?) & I'm perfect. He dragging. I'm dragging, Betty & I are feel better. I feel like I'm so tired & I'm always behind & my house is always a mess - & things have [loosened?] & becoming a old. I have started walking & I think that will help a lot. Mike went to Chicago today & I hope I can accomplish something while he's gone. Last Monday I started house-training our dog Phantom, & he seems to be doing fine. He's only had 3 accidents - he's so cute & smart. --- Page 30 --- November 10, 1971 Well, I made a great start last week. I cleaned really good - got all the laundry done on Monday, then I was on elderberrybridge on Tuesday from 6:30 am - 10:10 pm & boy was I spuckered. So Wednesday I was so tired, and I got a perm. It was like my dream - when I disconnected - it was so weird. I went to the library & couldn't think of any books or authors - I had $5 & I didn't get anything. None - I was in charge of the library - we had 5 teenagers and aged & Wallis - it was great. I started feeling better but sure had such a headache! I called Judy & she said she feels that way after a perm too. I read & was lazy. She kids didn't go to school on Friday & I was so mad at them because they didn't do what I told them to! By the time we went to get Mike on Friday I was awfully strung! And depressed - I felt like I didn't like him (for blaming everything on me) & the kids & felt being such a mean wife & mother & considering or me, for being so lazy and ineffective. Anyway, I wasn't a very cheerful wife. We had a good 15 meeting, so when I went to Minerva's & got some sluff - shoes for Aaron, mitts, slippers & ties - a Coat, jean & sweater for Aaron & sweater for all the boys. $300.00! Then I had a 15% all off, so I saved $45 there. Anyway, I needed to try on, make struddle, weave the she was there, so decided there to understand or contact me, so I was mean & [unclear?] from our people up of 3am feeling really fed, so old Abe, so we had a really good 5 issue. Cry and he was really sweet and understanding and sympathetic! We talked till almost 6, then slept, got ready & went to a funeral for a friend of mine, Beverly Mecham, at 11:30. to old - she drowned & drowned. She had a brain tumor, left in 7 yr 14 year old little boys. Then we took all the kids in town, went & [?] Mom. Then Mike & I took Michelle & her Little girl Frances to "The Gift of Music" Concert on the Tabernacle with full choir & Utah Symphony & Michelle was sure. It was wonderful & I was happy then too. We got ice cream after and went to Mike's office. Ben 15 & Betty [?] & she told Michelle she had cool parents & she was glad & she's glad we went. Today --- Page 31 --- Mike went to church at 6:45 & came home at 8:30 & we got both clean to the airport - he left for Nashville at[?] - flew 30 days. Then we went to Mom-Dad & had a nice dinner & of with them Mike talked to the kids about studying hard & don't know how much it helped Joyce E. & I like talking about my kids & also said maybe if I made them secure or p[?] another thought above else at least more. I need to figure out a way to do it. November 24 1991 Sunday Last night Ray, Mike & brother was asked to be bishop of his ward. It has makes parents called & told us. I started crying & felt so sorry for Cassie - after all, this teen in the technique for 4 year - & now she's got at least 5 & so on! We went the fine reaching & it was good - she seemed a surprised of my attitude - & I guess that's my problem! Last night at[?] Grandma believe & Lester - work so impressed me for not being grateful for this blessing. So now I know. Also, Michelle felt when I was excited with her for not being grateful. Children, long much better sleep, it's not easy to be a bishop's wife - & felt like although it's new trying so make physically, the Spirit brings him up while he's doing the work so she "can do it"! But when he gets home his exhausted - add that to a tough job and children of preaching & he really doesn't do much around here. I know I'm being ungrateful and selfish - & - but I wish he glad when he's released in nothing. I really am trying to work in gratitude & acknowledging. The hand of God in all things we do - I came see a lot of blessings were received directly from being bishop that we couldn't have received anyway. So I just during people - I felt carry, of course - so I know I[?] feel empty lately - like I can't wait for the kids to grow up & leave. Hope! What a terrible mother! But sometimes I feel like - only 10 more years to endure. Then 4 of the kids will it ride here! If only I can last that long! --- Page 32 --- Dec 1, 1991 Sunday Thursday was Thanksgiving - Mike's family came & we had a really lovely day. This more has really run through other days too. No longer so poor. Have on a $500 maximum for & bring a bag. $3 more when feeling so much better. I worked really hard spring cleaning the kitchen and family room. I even scrubbed the family room carpet. My back is really telling me though. Beth said "Mom, this is just like you!" before turning off the Nintendo and running into bed when we called you coming." Funny kid. Friday pm we went to hear the Mormon Choir sing in the tabernacle - they were super. Michelle did so well & Stephen - beautiful. My parents went with us. Afterwards we went to Ogden to visit Mike's parents - it was their 53rd anniversary on Friday. We had a nice visit. December 6, 1991 Friday Today I served on a jury. 12 potential jurors were called and they picked 4. I was one. A man had been arrested & accused of driving under the influence of drugs. Sounds terrible, but it was almost. The drugs were prescription drugs from a doctor, & taken correctly & within limits of normal use. He plead [not guilty?] & opted another law for a jury. We all felt sorry for the guy. But the judge & prosecuting attorney emphasized we had to decide if he should, beyond reasonable doubt, that he (?) was driving the car. I'm [of?] in wonderful city. So he was under the influence of drugs. They also gave us the option of finding him guilty of reckless driving, or finding him not guilty. It was hard because it looked been easy that he should receive the same penalty as someone who had been drinking or illegal drugs - that [we?] felt that the city proved he was guilty & we [had?] was under the influence of drugs. When we gave the verdict the judge said "I don't normally comment, but I would like to say congratulations, ladies & gentlemen. You for the feeling you agreed both as wife & a circuit clerk told me you did this sentence for a jury." & I got a $150 fine --- Page 33 --- and that was ½ the usual deal. So I felt odd for a while. We're to say if the law was broken, and this. So settle out [?] settle the mitigating circumstances. So anyway, it took 4 hours total and I "got paid"?! Mike went shopping for me & spent WAY more than I would have, but he helped with another case $50 savings bonds he went to Ceylon tonight and bought him a suit. He also spent about $50 for me!! He's wonderful! Nice it was nice to be with him. (Christmas) 1991 This Christmas was really nice - way in October I told the kids Santa would give them 3 things - Jesus got 3 gifts, so they don't need more. Then that so it really helped me simplify my shopping. Michelle - Athena shoes, perfume, [?]. Bright beads, snuggly [blanket?]. Matt's Aaron - roller blades, orange & basket ball helmet - presents in a track & field supplies, & waltch - Morgan, wagon, 59 cars, & Hi-energy Mike's parents give us a beautiful $50 [picture?] for our living room (we left the price tag on) & they gave the kids a ["shark?] shirt, coloring book(ball game - which is wonderful & they love. I asked her if she'll mind if I used the money for them for one thing for all 3 of them she said OK. When she realized what it was - she gave Michelle $35 so she bought pants & a sweater. I gave Mike a suit, sport, tie & stripe, and I bought him a zapper - remote control for the TV & he loves it He gave me a cordless 2-line phone - (Michelle & Aaron & all the kids signed it) gave me a Slanklin day planner! --- Page 34 --- February 3, 1952 Well, I don't believe it's been so long - five been giving the kids a treat if they write mothers + fathers every Sunday, + I haven't won written! We've had LOTS of sickness this month - I think everybody except me has been on medication - Mike + Megan twice! What a pain. Now Anna's sick again. Anyway - I've felt really discouraged + depressed this past month - Maybe a small part of it was seeing all the little new babies + thinking "I'll have one by now!" Mostly, though, it's just been an exhausted "Why try?" feeling - As far as children and house work go - they're just so mean to each other - + me! Anyway, I've been feeling better this past week - like the cloud has lifted. It comes and goes, though. The highlight of the month was probably the David "Hero" concert 30 on for $18. It was excellent! On the way home, we saw our car parked on [main?] street - Madison had stolen it to the mall to a movie! We jumped on and he ran a few blocks before we died - then I walked it back, the convoy (passing) until a policeman stopped + told us he wasn't a good idea! So we pushed it into Penny's Smart parking lot for the weekend. On Monday we tried to get it going + couldn't, so we had to have it towed again + got it fixed. Monday the 20th was a bad day! A police officer and animal control officer stopped + told us O'shannon had bitten 3 kids the previous Sunday + the kids hadn't told us! So the dog was put on quarantine for 10 days. I was the only one who could take him out or be with him. The rest of the time he was in his kennel. It was a queen. He hadn't hurt 3 of the kids - just had broken the skin on a girl's leg. So we found out who it was + Megan + I took her 70 to the doctor. So we paid them $50 for that... We were worried they might sue us - then to top off the whole day (week), well I know that it's heart was discouraging + that Mike might be out of a job - --- Page 35 --- Last night I thought it really affected us. On that Monday Nuke's boss came to town & interviewed him & said it was a lot worse than he thought - 18 out of 36 directors would be cut & he wasn't sure what was going to happen. So - the Van wasn't working (devi[?] thinks?) The dog had bitten a little girl (would we be sued?) and Nuke might lose his job? (unemployment?) Things did get better - the Van was repaired for $185. The dog bite only cost us $50 & they weren't nice, we are free and on Thursday they called Nuke and told him he was the best mother for the job! WHEW!! It was the following week I started to feel better. On that Tuesday after scripture study, I & Susan Jackie glared at Peggy & criticized Jenny but & hell rings. It was after it had been her Friday. The dog helped. On the 24th Mike had 2 friends over for pizza & Merry, Michelle Emblen. Mike's daughter had a leg breakdown on the freeway about Diaper Logic & Kelly were at a big dinner so we went old & got her & Mike drove the car home. The 25th Mike's birthday, we went to the temple with 5-6 ward. We had 60 people from our ward & it was really neat. After, we went to lunch with some of the people from our ward, then to Pike (Dairi Servi.) & got some stuff. Finally, we got & spend some time with Mike. My goals for the year are a repeat of my goals for the pilot 15 years. 1) Daily scriptures 2) Daily exercise 3) Think Thin! 4) Organize house & keep clean! 5) Get out of debt! I've done pretty good - including #5! We finally cancelled our expensive life ins policies, will be driving a good friend of Cash (Hope) Jack. We got additional term life of 150,000. --- Page 36 --- Jan 25, 1992 Matthew George Williams is 11 years old! It's so hard to believe - he's getting so big. Matthew is in a 5th split class "that year" he thinks he's a 6th grader! He's a smart, conscientious boy. His teacher especially loves him. She had Brett, too, and loved him. When I went to parent-teacher conference, she said "What can I say? Your boys are bright!" I nearly died of [pride?] & pride! They really do have a different personality at school than they do at home. I'm extremely grateful they at least know how to be, somewhat better people! Matthew does not a lot of sports - it worries me but [Brett?] seems to be growing up in a lot of ways & is being pretty good. How these negative He is still a cute little shy kid though, people very shy so looks like Brett! His best friends are Lully Brigham and Derek Seuller. He really takes [Matt Lottis?], his teacher. He's now a skater & thanks to Derek's mom, he almost has 4 street badges already. He's doing really great in scouts & will probably show his Eagle before Brett & Aaron. He's a really good worker & when he sets his mind does a good job. He got roller blades for Christmas & he loves to go skating and play street hockey. He's really good in basketball - he played JV Jazz in Nov.! December and did a really good job. He's quite talented and a good player. We love him a lot and are grateful to have him as part of our family. --- Page 37 --- February 9, 1992 This has been a pretty boring week. One upsetting thing is I've really been working on getting our debt paid off. We have about $900.00 on a Mastercard & breakfast. So I've cancelled our insurance; we got over $600 from Prudential & I plan on getting about 400 from State Farm unless their totally [cheated?] our money. I can't understand all that [stuff?] them or what, but anyway we'll get 400 back from them we discovered $700 from the kids' daycare and then a deal - growing with Stan & Vicky on being totally out of debt by Summertime - I got a book about getting & staying out of debt - I really am excited to do it and never debt again. The is very supported, but the thing that worries me is that he doesn't think he is any part of the problem! And I think he's the main problem because he depends so much money & never keeps track of it - so I'm not sure what to do - I'm praying he'll get committed, too. Feb 12, 1992 Morgan is 4 years old! I can't believe my little baby is four already. He really is turning into a kid and even a young lady anymore. He is so absolutely loveing, neat that he was even late! He is, I admit, spoiled rotten, but we all love him so much! His hair is kind of a buzz cut. I thin little quicker match his hair so cute! Sonic gets, long curvy eyelashes - his just so cute! He loves to help me to the cook and he loves to please the throw pillows just so - all so Making Sally & the funny that he, the best friend is Brett Cassell near down from us little brother, but he a pretty nice boy. We all call them "Lil' Brett" because that what Morgan calls them - to differentiate between him and "BIG BRETT" Morgan's favorite cartoon & political to TV - yeat like talways way! Herbie! Herbie! is his favorite show, but he goes in spurts - watches the same show over & over, then it's another one. I gave him Love Bug for his birthday, and most Herbie goes bananas too. Let Ruston lent his other Herbie & also gave him ov puzzles - he loves to do puzzles! He's really good at them, too. I worry about him being a zombie & an idiot because he watches so mulch TV! I wish --- Page 38 --- never going to take til as a babysitter. I like some do speak to him, but I'm not very good - I don't do it very often. He does not like me to sing to him - he must have good taste for music, because if I start to sing, he puts his hands over my mouth! At least now he'll let me sing in church. In Fiftey, it seemed like spring! I let him go out & he got worked up & his knee! I applied him & made him stay on the rest of the day. He walked around grumbling & about woke my Mom ... "I DON'T WIKE YOU, MOM!" or something mean to me!" He still loves his blankets, but they all begin their tell - it generally doesn't have to be a specific blanket (such as his "Blue Blanket") as long as it's one of his flannels. He doesn't like a lot - breakfast especially. He won't touch a cheerio or anything that remotely resembles me ... He does still eat cereal - "eggsyfuffles" - toast with cinnamon & sugar, and [slam?] plums - eggs, my fruit - (Drink it every day!) - He sweats his dynamite to meals, but won't ratios strange and get into things he wants - cookies & crackers, apples, bananas & cream. Whatever. He usually eats a pretty hearty dinner - baked chicken (very kind of meat.) If course he loves anything sweet (looking his orbit stops - he won't even buy them.) He can be a good little helper - He loves to spray & wipe windows, vacuum buddy etc. He also loves to help carry in the groceries and other things his pretty strong. The latest thing is when he plays with the dog & Morgan turn round & around the table - the dog speeds up & slows down, depending on what Morgan does. Sometimes Morgan will face "Lucy" & tackle phantom, & phantom keeps on running, pulling Morgan around the kitchen while Morgan hangs onto his hair & laughs & laughs & h. Oh! Look, God, how fun anything else! Morgan loves to play with his cars - lining them up, doing them, pushing pickup & bulldozer he loves this cars - especially his Herbie. But we love him so much. He's an angel. --- Page 39 --- Sept 83, 1992 The best couple by works & miles have been such a green I guess part of it she been that makes her world & her has not that I have it patients so compassion felt anyone outside wide French - in other worlds, in the glimsy. So I can only do so compassionate! Feb 25, 1992 Birth, 15th Birthday! Had night we ate pizza and skint bowling with the family. We had a great time - every one really enjoyed it and had fun! Brad is in 9th grade - I think they feel this here! & myself I think Brett is finally growing up and maturing! He certainly speaks the other boys are being nice to me - to not to me - the world is nice & the kids & harder then & so many hearty and makes me crazy! I get really stressed out & end up in remote because she is so argumentative and demanding. Just senses the scene, she is pretty bad. She about 5'7" - taller than me! She really bothering to have a new daughter more like, really a cute boy, and tolerate if he a cute guy! She about 117 lbs & she she [thinks?] she's too fat some time. She's doing better in school - A's & B's. I think she's really getting a little more responsible. She enjoys Basketball & is having pretty well. He plays for at [unclear] teams and Jr High. Our Pro Church team [best?] the first place team in a double overtime! So we gotta to regional next week. He's excited. He is basically a good kid and wants to do what is right. I'm [worries?] he doesn't think [unclear?] so big!) He likes slimming and heard instead & say Training scriptures for 175 days. TALL (DAD BASKETBALL) - (HUSHED) NIFTY (GREW) MEAN (Aaron) NICE (WONDERFUL) SLAM DUNK (Galon) --- Page 40 --- March 2, 1997 - Mon A miserable day at duty. Phillip is deadly draft & [this] for half [today]. At 8 a.m. [they] came out. Actually, we had 7 at 7 no one and Solvent - about 7:30 they put me in "under escort" for [black?]. After Steven sent meson around 8 there people said they and I were so tied up [these] concrete till up they the rest] miles. Let us & Dennis this afternoon & I spoke the best for a billion blue and $800 at [all] pointed graphic after net grade up the snow. I go & I think after. But the [balance] order so 7 or 8 this times [of] [perhaps] at 7 or 9 or [that] a little fellow double space time [team] [of] them away [this] & [was] after the kind of office we are it. [With] [&] bill were then scheduled [or] 250 miles them if run-space [&] over & I put [can] then & with what [&] days [&] get up of [the] [today]. And so I [got] [all] a mine rolling plain for left [today] away "yet to [pass]" & else [costs] fourteen 8 am. [policy] great & [especially] [this]. [A] week we [the] 5 [plus] & [percent] to "track" to [today] at that. The guy's mind this week after [a] [week] 250 - both 2 30 [with] [too] [over] [platform] + boy took [a] handled [&] passed [they] and & my [or] boy [follows] & thanks after [many] we [clearly] said [&] out old [the] [trip] & it 15 so I wrote you [things] May 7 - Tues [the] my [game] was married in the I.F. [Temple] a why so [true] you & I was glad me would be there 5 spent Sunday with [Val] just running around. May 9 - Monday. Morgan was bitten by a dog today and was had to take him to the doctor, nothing to bad about [when] got home. Matt took Phantom out a Phantom [fed] with Mother at [around] Matt. wonderful! so nice on [guerrelope] [again] & [called] [truly], my [name], & she said they'll take him back. May 19. Thurs. we spend down [to] to [I] met at the temple we did [including], baptisms, sealings & endowments. When we did sealings, our sealer was turned left. My bishop which I was 3 or [say] recognized them. & [say] need. Mike went to Denver. --- Page 41 --- March 14, 1993 Tonight we had a surprise party for Mikie, and I told my old neighbors. The Clements & Pep's. There came with aprons. We had it at the Red Stone they had black balloons, wheelchairs, dead flowers on the table, everything in black. We were going to go play next door [?] to Norm - he didn't suspect a thing! Everyone gave him guy gifts - I gave him a hat that said "Don't think me about my age or I'll beat you with my cane!" It was really fun. Today we had potatoes birthday party. Poor kid - usually it think of 4 friends, so he got invited one, Bradley [Mullins?], & we took the family bowling. It was fun! March 15, 1993 Guy Salmage is 8 years old! He's been looking forward to this for a long time. I bought him a neat double breasted grey suit & he looked so cute in it. He gave [Ann?] my [overdue?] too, & he was excited about that. We got a big kite & some other things too. Salmage is doing pretty good in school & seems to like it. He's taking piano from Michelle & does so-so. Some days he practices by himself, but usually he doesn't do it unless I sit with him - & it never me [crazy?] - He is really a late boy, and getting so big! I think deep [in] my heart I really falters to be [of] his [type?]. Deep [of] that having to go work & hate work! How come I hardly do one the work? and so on. He never said he'd hate is [home?] - Right now we're reading "The Boxcar Children." He really happened the stories love and afternoon. And I got spankings (a lot got at him or got angry with him - his feelings got really hurt and he says "You hurt my feelings!" I really need to do worse responses to him. Salmage really likes to ride his [fat?] [bike?] [Ask?]. --- Page 42 --- play soccer, basketball and with the dog. His best friend is Bradley Mullins, although he still plays with Justin Baynell sometimes. He complains about getting up & reading scriptures, but he's getting lots better at it. Jilmaz is a really sweet boy and usually wants to do what is right, but sometimes he is really stubborn and glowering. He likes to scream if someone is bugging him while they do a lot! Sometimes he plays with Melissa really well & I love it, but lots of times he tells Melissa "that makes HIM scream!" But we love Jilmaz and are very glad he's part of our family. March 17, 1992 Court of Honor tonight - Matt got his [arrow?] rank, Aaron got his wolf, & Brett got his life! (Dive cheer) Syrup, Brett & I set a life [like?] a [grand?] & a half show. It was neat & I was proud of them all. March 21, 1992 Talmage Baptized! Today was so special - Stake baptized & confirmed. Because a member of the Church. Mike's parents, Carrie & Les [Peck?] (all came to work) Richard & Carrie (Mike stayed home with chicken-pocked Danny) & MY PARENTS came. This is the first time my parents have come to my children together. Mike's dad gave the talk on baptism & my dad gave the talk on the Holy Ghost. It was neat, afterwards, everyone came over for Strawberry shortcake. March 23, 1992 Aaron got braces on the top of his teeth & Carrot [or?] on his teeth. --- Page 43 --- Thursday March 26, 1992 Washington D.C.! Last night Mike called & said Lynne going to Washington D.C. with me next week! Oh! It'll be a [farewell?] actually. I think they flew here. So we did it! Cut this phone above. We left early & am & flew to Denver, changed planes & flew to Cleveland. Then had a 1 hr. layover. I got out & walked around. Then we flew to D.C.! It was pleasant & no raining [rain?] when we landed, so we didn't get soaked. We took a taxi to our hotel, unpacked, relaxed, ate dinner in the hotel, & went to bed by 11! Fun to be here. Friday, March 27 Got up, had a cab drop us off - Mike at I work & me at the National Gallery of Art (Smithsonian.) I spent the day from 10-4 going through & seeing all the rooms. It was wonderful! I really enjoyed it - I saw Rubens, Rembrandt & Picasso, Dulare, Degas, Renoir, Cezanne, Leonardo Da Vinci - The only painting of his outside Europe. Italian - everyone! A whole gallery was the [Giardone?]. Art, artists unknown, [period?] of the baroque. Not like Michelangelo, either. I don't think. No old sculptural. This museum was all classical art. I did spend a few minutes in the modern art section, not didn't get to see any of the main museum old building. I did however, go thru the Sculpture Garden & saw a Picasso - "Pregnant woman," I aph like me - I was supposed to meet Mike at 4:30 across [from?] the White House so I hevelled there with 2 ladies from South Carolina. They didn't know anything! They weren't even sure what the headquarters monument was! So any way when I got to the White house, I checked make papers & found I had dept me a message saying "go to the hotel," so I walked back & I got home at 5:00 & I was DEAD. Mike took plane [back?]. --- Page 44 --- Saturday March 28 We took the library out to Forest Glen, + our old friends from Denmark Lloyd + Kay Abbott, most took the bus to the temple. It was so beautiful. We with Anne + Stewart, then they went back to town with us. + we had dinner together and walked around for awhile space; marvelous for a while. Then we took a taxi back to the hotel. Sunday March 29, 1972 This morning we took a trip to the National Riding Club Equestrian, where we attended the Washington D.C. Lot ward. It was interesting - what a magnificent group of people than I was she let children - I recognized a woman who had been on the David Lett Committee with me - She went surprised + delighted for Richard + Sally. A [Terrific?] story Idaho - They fought my job me-top! So I've just went walking, but took the subway to Arlington Cemetery + walked all over there -Then we walked almost the [Potomac?] River one bridge of course - to the Franklin Memorial, but were very well [funded?] place - such a great many + a [goat?] exhibit! Then we went to the Vietnam Memorial that made me pretty choked up - to see how many men had their lives taken with Ellen - had a soft hello [stroll?] - so we had a [healthy?]. It was quiet. We walked to the hilltop we were DEAD - absolutely since we were [pretend?], + had a wonderful 8:30 dinner. Then back at our home. It was a long day. --- Page 45 --- Monday, March 30, 1992 - I slept in & Mike did drive Mike till about 400. Then we walked to the subway first too subway to Union Station & then took. Then we went to the Supreme Court & saw that, then walked all over the Capitol & found our bus the station & Brigham Young Pres Presidential Room torn down but he said the Osceola had the house. I got hit by start & when we walked & walked & walked. Then we went to the city & space museum. Then to the Washington monument, but at was 4:30 & the line was 1 hour long, so they wouldn't let us on! So we walked back to the [am?] then museum & saw the 1st Indian Exhibit. It was really interesting. All time to spend another whole seeing all the exhibits - they all space so very. Then we went back to the city & space & saw the may movie. All we were so tired & saw we took a taxi back & stopped & pizza, & watched the Academy Awards. Tuesday, March 31, 1992 - We flew home today most [awkward?], from where we went - I was dead tired home. The first thing Michelle said was "Was Nether having fun!" There were three, but everything turned out ok! Wednesday, April 1, 1992 - 37 years old! Today was a pretty boring day, as far as birthdays go. I did 10 laps & of running & took a bike 10 min at some Old [quest?] had to drop off! Some Mike & tried what me & Mike went seat off last. My mom gave me a cookbook & we made while on top, roasted. They just left last Monday to go home. --- Page 46 --- Saturday - Michelle's Junior Prom April 4, 1992 I've decided all boys fly a dress over social one for Michelle, but I decided for the same price, I could make her so I make her a strapless dress lace covered satin dress & she was beautiful! She went with a boy named Brad Fraser - nice enough, but not her type. We both put especially she - I thought. They other boy Randy was going to ask her. Then he asked Michelle Tubal & make me mad & really hurt her feelings. Anyway let Eddie Simpson last year used, so we have to get rid of him! I'm too really besides myself. April 13 1992 Monday - My period was due last Saturday & since we'd made done over, I still a pregnancy test. It was positive! I broke down with me & that was twice but write help short by - oh - oh I guess I'm positive here. I feel really bad mixed feelings, I guess I think I would be have difficulty today, but I'm opened as another miscarriage for Deborah for the back of year commission! & marriage with the 3 young old & going as much help [your?] on I really have Christ [feelings?], but I pray all well go well & this child will be a blessing to all of us. I'm due at December & with kids Mountain I'm going to take the kids Dave [there?] & close "I brought the back & saw dear I for about 3 months but I can't want to get to a new day! And I want to be healthy & feel good. April 2-17-18 I took the boys & Ray to Daddy's. I went to Mary's. Got lovely, so thankful we all got well & no other Cosco! And went grocery getting & Mike same up & the old [Iron?] to take Mom this [gone?] out - she decided to leave at once. so I had a ride cell it so I took done home with me. --- Page 47 --- April 19 Sunday - Easter. It was nice to be home together as a family. We took part in the program at K.S.U & Michelle [unclear?] sang there. While he sang I cried - it was beautiful. I got about breakfast [unclear?] in Shawn - Eve called them to home on how could do some bedroom. I'm going to write Aaron & meet in the golf room that Brett hated his dirty socks, damage & managed apartment. Then next year when I enquiry the [unclear?] check out of my room. Maybe the misery goes when being - I say "oh wait" - April 23, 1992 Aaron's 15th Birthday! For Aaron's birthday, we took the family and Jackie to see [unclear?] to a movie & had pizza. It was fun too! Aaron - I hope Aaron is definitely a teenager. This shows moody & grouchy and truchs & even defiant. Otherwise, his grades have really gone down - to a 5.2! This from a brilliant boy! He's still clever and pretty laid back, but the likes slow his memories, and I can tell that he's planning with a teenager. He's growing "better" & even a little braggart! She gets some peace. [unclear?] & has 5 whine of fun outbursts pretty often - probably weekly. I moved him out of the playroom & sleep with Patches in Brett - who has his own room. I think that will be better for both of them - Brett is getting a little snooty. Although he still keeps teasing & look & messy about him. Aaron is still pretty lazy - he'll get out of anywhere he can. He's usually not belligerent, but I still sit quiet & non-confronting then just get up of these say "oh Mom!" or "but Mom!" a lot, but he doesn't keep fighting back - he'll acquiesce pretty quickly. If I stay on him, he does pretty good, but if he get involved in something else (which often happens) he won't. He doesn't do it. However, I drive him a lot him. I'm so proud of him whereas he passes for environment - --- Page 48 --- We did handsome 9 the weekly is a good day! We drove the Jazz fest morning, and collecting and trading basketball cards. Very pretty, quiet quiet morning all but officially. We didn't do a lesson for over 2 months. We never this [progressed?] or accomplished much with piano 9 I feel like 3 thirds during a real [silence?] to buy [sport?] poem & play with 9 --- Page 49 --- (Copy of a letter I wrote to Michelle) April 30, 1992 6:00 AM My dear daughter Michelle, After I left this morning, I couldn't go back to sleep. My thoughts turned to a moment almost a year ago. I was upset and at the same time I was either given freedom or hit my left fit. I knew I needed to be alone almost entirely. 17 years is a long time - with you from children into my left fit. I knew I would be living and I hoped for the return of freedom or "mother." I hoped and prayed for a daughter to talk to sweetly - told you that he be fair. At was such a glowing moment - I remember hearing the baby talk that the three female - still nothing was so cold I can't to be as beautiful as space was when you were little. I remember that Michelle, as well. Your fair plead with little feet. And how you nursed your feet and played at every turn "baby's world" sat deep with my. The hours I used to spend to you singing so much! I hope the hours you were giving so he the way I was present. I think exactly were the years pretty apples. I was 20 years, so I had was 23. But due of course, I remember having you for 3 months. You have always a wonderful thing; kind, loving, kind, kind, girl. I feel new to be a wonderful, charming, talented, respectable, companionable, inspiring woman. You say so often how well given great Michelle, I can't I have asked for to learn daughter. I love you so much! Years' just my death a lot from me as grown favorite, as little children - you've - bread of parenthood with you as far "experimental model" long beyond done this before - and the only training were had was from how our own parents brought us up, and [disciplined?] and things were look different from the side, helping me! I knew, as a young mother, that I'd have challenge as I raised you and your brothers, but I felt 1st bit of I and you enough (and I knew I wanted) I couldn't made and money mistakes could I? And everything would turn out hollow, and cookies, and swinging in the yard. If thought my heart would break the [first?] your trespice on and lost! I hate you "mommy"! But child to realize this fairly normal behavior for a 3 year old. But at the --- Page 50 --- time you did it, it really hurt. And so it's been work with the phases of growing up - any disobedience or resistance or temper or whatever has been a shock to me, leaving me feeling wounded & upset, and wondering "What have I done wrong?" And even as I've seen the boys go through the same stages, I've been able to say to myself, "He probably will get through this." But it still hurts, and I still wonder what I did wrong. You came from me, Michelle - you're a part of me and always will be. I share your joy in the things that make you happy: boys, friends, grades. I feel your heartache with challenges and frustrations: boys, friends, grades, whatever. When you are happy, your joy spreads out and blankets the house - and we're all happy. When you're upset, we all feel it. You have a great potential for making people happy - if you could just realize it. It doesn't seem fair, but that's so: be a woman, you have the power to spread love and joy, or gloom and discontent. I remember when I realized it was my responsibility to set the tone and mood of the home - "It's not fair!" Why do I have to be the one? Who is loving and pleasant, and kind and soothing? Because, I found, if I don't, no one else will. And it's what I want. It doesn't always work perfectly, but it does work in the long run number of personal ethics over the years. At one time I thought I could grind me down to despair, sometimes. But I've noticed that you have the ability to lighten the atmosphere and soothe the mood and be a gracious, I've seen you do it, and appreciate you for helping me - especially it seems like we're pretty hurtful heads. Whenever we've talked about anything like that we're trying to teach you responsibility, respect, and appreciation - and you think we're trying to blunt your self [margin notes visible on right edge]